The 4 Words That Are Ruining Your Self Esteem

Have you ever stopped to really listen to the negative chatter taking place in the background of your mind? Or possibly that chatter is more front and center. It might even be running the show.

Some people experience negative, critical inner dialogue quite frequently. Often it is described as the part of us that motivates us to do better. While it’s absolutely true that we can be motivated by critical (sometimes even cruel) inner dialogue, that doesn’t mean it has to be that way.

Just think back to bosses current and past. Have those bosses been compassionate, supportive and kind? Or have they been ruthless, uncaring and cruel? Who motivated you best? Just like in the outer world of our jobs, our inner world too has a manager of sorts. All of us have an internal manager (motivator) that drives our daily decisions. Pause for a moment and consider, what is the demeanor of your inner manager?

Possibly even take a minute to write down all the things your inner manager says to you. If your inner boss sounds anything like this:

“Why did you do that? Yo are so stupid.”

“No one really likes you.”

“You are a failure. Why can’t you do better?”

“You’ll never make it.”

“Why do you have to be that way?”

“I can’t stand when you act like that”

…then the core belief that you have about yourself is probably this:


Those four words are so damaging to everything that you want to do in your life. If you find yourself in a constant swirl of negative self talk, ask yourself: Do I really believe I am enough as I am? If the answer is yes, great! If its a no, then it’s time to talk it out. It’s time to find out where this core belief began. It’s time to stop making that belief stronger.

As one of my favorite author’s Louise used to say, “You are lovable because you exist.” If you are having a hard time believing that, you may want to explore the concepts of earned worth versus inherent worth. Earned worth is all those things we work really hard for and deserve because of merit. Inherent self worth is the idea that all humans have value because they are alive. Inherent worth can be strengthened without outside influences. It can be done through the practice of self love and deep respect for our individual experience.

Wherever you are, whatever you are doing right now - YOU ARE ENOUGH.

Be well - Ruschelle